reminiscing

We had just come in from me having picked Ray up from the train station. It was a little awkward. I didn’t know what to do. There was no dinner to serve and there were nobody else in the flat except us. I didn’t know how to entertain him. Me feeling so sky and awkward was something I really hadn’t expected and thinking about being awkward, made me feel even more awkward. “Sit down and chill,” I said turned on the radio. Before I sat down on the sofa. He hovered for a while, seeming a little unsure of what to do him before parking himself down next to me. “Anything to drink?” I said “No thanks, I’m cool.” The conversation was a little pressured at first. Neither of us knew what to talk about, but it didn’t take long before we got into our old natural way of talking and joking again. It felt so good to have him next to me. I hadn’t seen him for a couple of weeks, but we had had some long conversations and there had been a lot of texting, so we had kept in touch. I wanted him again. Wanted him badly, but I had decided not to hope for too much unless I got disappointed. He made no move towards me and so I made no move either. But I didn’t just want him for his body like the last time. I would be happy just lying next to him listening to his heartbeats and breathing.

After a while we both got up. Ray wanted me to show him where the surround sound system was plugged into the TV and he managed to plug his mp3 player to it, so that we could listen to some of his music. Some lovers rock came on and we went back to the couch. He sat down and this time he put his arm round my waste and made me sit on his lap. It felt great being near him. Like electricity running through my body. and oh no, I could feel myself getting wet just from sitting there with his arms around me and his face buried in my neck while he played with my hair. “What’s that in your hair?” he asked me. “Shampoo, hope it doesn’t smell too bad” I laughed nervously. “No,” he said smelling it again. 2I was just wondering,” he replied. I was absolutely soaking and I almost felt embarrassed by it. I didn’t say anything nor moved except from commenting on the music every now and again. “What are you thinking?” he asked. That I wanna make love to you from tonight and for the rest of eternity, I thought. “Nothing really,” I said out loud. “Just enjoying the moment.” He pulled me off his lap so my head was at his level. “What are you thinking,” I said sure he’d hear the tremble in my voice. I can’t even remember what he replied. The smell of his hair and skin and his breath on my cheek was just too much so I just concentrating on trying to keep cool while listening to the music. “Do you wanna go watch a movie?” he said after a while. “I can unfortunately not stay over as I need to be somewhere in south London by 10 tomorrow,” He refreshed my memory about a meeting he was gonna go to when he had been at mine two weeks earlier, but had ended up not going to. “I’m sorry girl, I wish I had come yesterday so I could have spent more time with you,” he said. “So what movie do you wanna watch?” I asked. “Don’t know. We could either watch a movie, or make one,” he said and followed me into my bedroom where all my audio described movies were on my laptop. Once
inside the he stood in front of me and we slowly put our arms around each other. I leaned my head against his chest and he stroke my back. “Aren’t you gonna put that computer on?” he asked. “Well I can’t as long as you’re blocking my way can I?” He did not move. Instead, he started feeling my top. “It’s nice, he said after a while.”And those trousers hug your hips well. I do wonder how easy that top comes off.” It came of easy as did the rest of my clothes and his too. He threw me on the bed and ripped my knickers, the only thing I had left on, off. He lay down beside me and we hugged before he started pulling me on top of him. “You know, after last time, I thought, after,” he stopped.” After last time, I thought, you’d almost broken in.” I knew what he meant by that. Broken into his mind, heart soul, something like that. Anyway I knew what he meant. I smiled and kissed him. But although I was wet, I was not ready. 2I need to do some work before I get my entertainment, he said as I got on my back and his fingers slid inside me. Oh my god, it felt so, so, so…. I couldn’t think. All I knew was that I was somewhere, somewhere, very very nice and that I wanted to stay there. He got on top of me and his hands no longer being inside me, made me ache for him like crazy.
The first time was hard, fast and mad. Afterwards, we laid there talking about everything and laughing a lot. I love that about him. His sense of humour is really great.

The second time, I was on top of him. It went from being fast and rough to being slow and sensual. Sometimes he would lay back and enjoy it, and sometimes, he’d help me. “You” he kept moaning. And when we finished, the craziest orgasm ever because he came out as we both came. It made us both laugh and after that we did more talking, but had periods where we were quiet, just concentrating on holding and caressing each other. “If you’d have seen the inside of my head right now, you would get confused by all these tuff that’s going on inside there and probably get shocked by some of my thoughts.” “Maybe,” I said. “As long as there are no bad thought.” I noticed he had started talking about us in we terms. For example, he told me this story about a crazy friend he had in Jamaica, who was blind and very confident. One day he’d smelled a nice perfume on the bus, turned around and said, How are you darling?” only to find out it was a man sitting there. “I’d love to travel with that guy for the sake of the entertainment,” I said. “Well, I’ll point him out when we go to Jamaica.” When WE go to Jamaica.

The third time was pure lovemaking. It was mainly slow and tender, but faster at times. We slowed down to kiss, kiss and kiss some more before going faster and then slowing down to kiss again. I swear had he asked me to marry him while it was going on, I would have said yes straight away. We both came simultaneously again and the orgasm was of the long and slow kind. Afterwards, I lay back exhausted while he got up to sit in my arm chair. Still, we never broke physical contact. All evening, we had been holding each other in one way or another. Even when we were play fighting for some of it. So he sat and held my hand while I tried to recover. “We never watched that movie,” I said. “No, but we made three, though the first one was a little short and mad,” he said. “And the second one had a crazy and funny ending he added.” But the third one, was just looong and had a very happy one,” I said. “Yeah. You’ are so sexy you know,” he said as I got up and he could hold me tight again. “You are something else my dear.

This post isn’t well written, but it was so much going on that night emotionally and I just can’t get it down in words. Let me say though, I have never experienced an evening like this and I know more and more that I want to be this man’s wifey. We want the same things. 3 kids, good careers and good friends. He’s so loving and caring and ambitious. I’m trying not to read too much into him talking about me and him in we and us terms. Maybe he doesn’t mean it? maybe he will go back to his babymama if she takes him back. I hope hot and to be honest, I don’t think so. I’d love to see what’s going through his head right now and I’d love to share with him what’s going on in mine. the full extent of my feelings.

Beauty

I was nervous. It was only an hour or so till Ray would get here and I was so hyper I didn’t know where I was or what I was doing. This was so surreal. I had a date with the best friend of a man who is one out of the two on my hate list! But ray is very different from his friend C. Unlike C, his honest and caring guy and he’s also very interesting to talk to. We had spent the last few days talking. Just talking and talking and getting to know each other. Mostly we were talking on msn. I don’t think either of us are phone people. I do prefer msn because it’s I find it so hard to keep a flirty or deep conversation going on the phone unless I’m talking to Mad or unless I feel very comfortable with the person I talk to. I had plucked up the courage to ask him to come over though one day and he had, miraculously said yes. Poor H. I’m sure I had been driving her crazy with all my “Do you think he may like me when he….” talk. But as usual, she had been a great friend and stood it out. I was so nervous about this, that I almost set the flat on fire, but luckily we’d managed to stop that developing any further.

The sound of the buzzer made me jump. I was stirring the rice which by now was cooking nicely. I knew it wasn’t him though. I’d met this other girl earlier who worked for TFL. We got talking since she’s Jamaican like Ray and she offered to show me where in my local area, I could get Caribbean groceries. We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet sometime. When I got home I told H about the girl, Kira, and H said that she’d met the same girl the day before and that she was sure Kira was gay or bi. Not long after that, Kira texted me and because she is really cool and because I thought it would be a nicer evening being four in stead of three, I invited her over to, so it was she who buzzed. She brought some wine and she smelled gorgeous. We sat chatting for a while waiting for the diner to be done and Ray to arrive. He rang me several times telling me he had transport issues, but finally, just before 9 he got there.

t first things were a little strange. He’s not the easiest person in some ways to converse with. Not in the beginning anyway. He’s not really that extravert and all smiles like the guys I normally dates the first few minutes were rather awkward. But we soon got the conversation going and the food was ready. He kept complimenting my cooking through the meal.

After dinner I pored some more drinks, but promised myself it would be my last one since I really didn’t wanna get drunk and make a fool of myself, which, as my readers know very well, is what I do when I have one or five too many. The two girls who were sitting on the other couch had started getting all touchy and comfy with each other. I had no idea where the night was going. Wasn’t even sure what he thought about me. Did he like me as a friend as something else? All of a sudden H turned to us and asked “So Ray, are you staying the night?” I could have killed her for asking that question. I didn’t wanna sound like I really badly wanted him to stay the night. But it was all good and I didn’t really stay angry since Ray replied “I don’t wanna over stay my welcome, but I might go to C’s place.” “Well, feel free to stay for as long as you like,” I replied blushing a little and made some comments about H and Kira. “Get going then girl,” H said. One thing that also made me insecure about the whole thing was my shallow person. Kira had whispered to me that he had no sex appeal and wasn’t very good looking, but after having contemplated getting him out, I decided that being shallow would be stupid and unfair to me and him. And even though she didn’t like his looks didn’t have to mean he was ugly.

It didn’t take long for us to take the next step, yet it felt like we had been building up to this for a long time. Suddenly, he was playing with my hair and had his arm around me. He stroked the silky material of my red top and started playing with my nipples through my bra. It felt so amazing! A slight moan escaped me. I couldn’t remember when I’d last wanted someone so much. And I did not only want his body, I wanted his heart too. “Did you think this would happen? Or are you just going a long with it?” he whispered pulling me closer on the couch. “Just going along” I said even though I had hoped this would happen. At that moment Kira came back from having been out a while and I asked Ray whether he wanted to see my room. “I think so,” he whispered as I took his hand and dragged him after me into my bedroom.

I know this is a complete cliché, but ones we were in the room and the door had closed behind us, we held on two each other like we were gonna drown and when I think we couldn’t get any closer together, he pulled me even closer and I held him harder. He is very tall, so when I was standing up, my head was leaning against his chest. He walked us over to my bed and laid me down with him on top of me. He unbuttoned my jeans. I thought this was going too fast. He’d only gotten here three hours ago and I didn’t want him to think I was easy. I said it out loud, laughing at it to sound less serious. “I don’t judge you, I don’t judge anyone,” he said and put his fingers inside my knickers and started rubbing my clit. It felt so good I couldn’t breathe. He started undressing me and I felt so lucky. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He was impatient. My clothes were off in a matter of seconds as were his. He lay on top of my all naked. His dark skin smelling of coco butter and a very nice aftershave. The combination was driving me crazy. We kissed each other passionately and I traced the outline of his face with my fingers. I figured why Kira didn’t like his looks. His face is, dare I use the word, Negro, and so he has big lips and a broad nose. But big lips are just a good thing really. “Whatever happens here, it’s out secret,” he said. I didn’t reply. I was to busy stroking and kissing his perfect silky skin.

He put his hand back between my legs and started pumping me with his long elegant fingers. I don’t know what he did, but it didn’t take long before I was soaking wet. He rolled on top of me and I was ready for him. He entered me, but with a little bit of a struggle since I was quite tight and his cock was big and thick. His riddim was slow at first, but he soon sped up. He wanted this as much as I did. Then he slowed down again and suddenly his hardness had gone. He was lying on top of me shaking. “I feel as if she’s watching me,” he said. “Who?” I asked. “My babymama. I know she isn’t here, but, I just have this feeling she’s watching me.” He started talking about his babymama who is due to have his baby in five weeks or so. I know her, so talking about her didn’t bother me. I was also sure that it was over so I wasn’t jealous. He told me, not quite how it ended as he wasn’t ready to talk about that yet, but how she had wanted so much money from him in the end and how he couldn’t give her money. So instead of receiving support from him, her ex gives her all she needs. Also, she is under the impression that he uses the baby to make it easier for him to get a visa and apply for dual nationality. It was sad to hear this. Especially since he may not be able to meet his own son when he’s born. But we didn’t only talk about her. He told me he had wanted to ask me out since last summer, that this, meaning us being in bed together naked should have happened last year on our weekend trip to Newcastle. I admitted that I’d been thinking along the same lines and that I thought he thought I was just a stupid snob. “I did think you were a snob when I met you” he admitted. “But actually girl, you’re pretty cool. You just look snobby and talk snobby.”
2But, I started something and I need to finish that off.” He was hard again and this time, he did not seem to think of his babymama. He manhandled me like nobody has ever done. Went hard and fast, sowed down and wined and then slow and hard before he went faster. All the time, he held me tight and kissed me which let me know it wasn’t just a fuck, but something more. It went on for what seemed like and eternity, but then he came. I didn’t, but then I don’t always do that when I sleep with a man for the first time. I felt satisfied though and afterwards he was just lying on top of me, still inside me while I held him. So many thoughts were running through my head and I could tell from his caresses that his head might be preoccupied as well, or maybe that was part of my fantasies, I don’t know.

We snuggled up under the duvet close close close. All the time fastening the grip around each others bodies calling each other sweet names without it becoming too weird. He said how he could see why A kept coming back to me because “He’d not get that stuff nowhere else.

It didn’t take long before he was hard again and I, well, I was definitely ready for a new round. He pushed me on top of him this time and I started riding him. I didn’t manage to get all the way down immediately, so he asked me “Don’t you wanna come all the way down?” It was very cute the way he asked me and I started riding him a little faster. “You’re tight and I really like that,” he said before breaking into me again. This time was different. I was on top and so I was in control. I did things I never thought I was capable of and I didn’t seem to get tired like I always do when I am on top. He loved it I could tell. He said things like “God your good girl!” and he told me to slow down so he shouldn’t come too quickly. I came three or for times before he came. I sat on him for ages. My knees aching but I wasn’t paying attention. We were kissing and after a while, we were just quiet and almost asleep. “I’m a very happy man right now he whispered.

It felt great to wake up with him next to me, giving each other a long hug first thing. “I hope I will get over her soon,” he said, referring to his babymama. “And then, hopefully, I can give you what you want this summer.” He left me feeling great and now, if someone asks me what he looks like, I’ll say he’s the most beautiful out of all my lovers. For the expression on his face the second time we made love and his boldness in revealing how he felt about a few things in his life made him beautiful to me.

Life is changing

A long time since I have written, but I hope you readers still havea little love left for the Naughty Angel. Anyways, I’ve moved into my new flat now andit’s totally gorgeous. I love the location, it’s closeto everything and there are lotsofrestaurants with all my favourite foods in including Caribbean and Iranian as well as a few shops, a local pub and and a GP should that ever come handy. the trip to work is short aswell, only just over20minutes.

My new job is going well. I enjoy interacting to the kids directly and the kids have taken to me as well. It’s so nice on a day I feel grumpy and tired to get online and read that the kids think I’m soooo cool and that they love me and I can betheir favourite mod if I want to. It’s very busy as well though which I like and because of the nature of my job, I have lots of editorial responsibilities so I always have to make sure I communicatein the right way so as notto upset anyone or give the organisation a bad name. Sharing a flat is going well to. Although H and I were close friends, I wasn’t sure how well it was gonna go, but we’re very balanced in the time we spend together and the time we spend apart, so it works out fine. I love the fact that I’m never really alone, that I can cook with someone and that the food gets eatenandnothing is thrown out. I also likethe fact that if we’re both in on a Saturday night, we alsways have company should we not wantto spend it alone. we also haveloadsmore visitors. I think it’s because we’retwo people leiving here as wellas this location being absolutely ideal for visitors to come see us. Because of the wood floors, the house is easy to keep clean and the robotic hoover makes hoovering, not so boring. I’vegot a new exercisebikein my room again, so I get to do my workout which makes me feel better. Thereare even nice sunbathing opportunities in thecommunal garden and I’ve already got a tan which I’m hoping to top up on soon, before it disappears. One thing I forgot to mention, is that there is a black club across the street from wherewelive. Guess who’s gonna spend time in there trying to pull som nice looking brothers!

About pulling brothers, I have to say that I’m now really and truly ready andwantingto go into a relationship again. With 10 months of beingsingle, with the occasional lover, I really have some cravings to settledown with a man. Ok, a steady relationship comes before the settling down bit I guess. Accordingto my horoscope, it won’t be long now. and that’s as well as according to my psychic friend too. Hope they’re both right. Both say that this love has the potential to be the one that will last for a long time, possibly the rest of my life and I really hope this is true. I’m certainly gonna do all I can for it to be that way when I meet the right one. I have an admirer though, but I really don’t likehim. He is a colleague of H and I met him at our house warming party, which by the way was awesome. Everyone got along really good, we had some great music on and the chocolate fountain was very popular. I didn’t pay too much attention to him. He seemed to bea nice boy, but I felt no attraciton to him whatsoever. I was busy talking to everyone else that night and I was a little upset that my fling didn’t come around. I wasnot so upset that he didn’t make it, but upset with myself for being upset. It didn’t spoil the party though. But this guy, and his friend came around lastFriday. H and I werethinking,”Oh, so we’ll have a nicetime going out, having a fewdrinks and alaugh” Welll, don’t know about H, but I was. I think theythough, “Double date. We could get a shag out of this.”

The night started finewith wine and chat. Then wewent to the local pub and had a few drinks before heading to the Chinese to get some grub in our stomachs. Afterwards, we went tothe black club. I was pretty drunk, but not drunk enough to not register that the club was full of nice looking black guys. I was cursing and swearing about the fact thatI was there with a boring sod like this guy was, but nonetheless, I starteddoing the dutty wine which scaredhim since I don’t think he’d ever seen a girl do anything like it. When wegot home, a little early due to me having had too much drink and in danger of becoming sick, he did threethingsthat made me go from thinking he was alrightasafriend to not liking himat all. Firstly, he said that he’d heard I went to black drug dealers and had never goneout with ayoung professional which is so not true. Then he asked “So, do you like me?” to whichI was actually to astohished to behonest with him, so I said I liked himas a friend but that I thought his friend was a fucking wanker.He was persuading me to go out with him, but I told him he was on the rebound and that I wasn’t interested and drunk as I was, persisted to say that his mate was afuckingwanker. Then, after a while he said, “I’d kiss you if my breath wasn’t so rotten.”I closed my lips and turned my headaway while he continuedtrying to persuade me that him and I would be a good item.

I passed outon the bed andwoke up with his arm losely around me. Luckily, I had to be sick, so I ran into the bathroom, was sickandhad a shower, I’d been up before that and made him go getme water etc, because I felt so horrible. the boys stayed way longer than I would have them there, but finally they got out. It was awful and I hope I’ll never see them again. Actually it was slightly traumatic.

Yesterday I spent the day in the sunshine and today I’m gonna go see Beyonce which will be great. Looking very much forward to it!

Sorry for typos, but I’m short of time, so won’t go over the post to check spelling.

on the up

My life is definitely getting better and better. So far this year, things have been ok, but nothing exciting has really happened until now. It’s funny how everything’s quiet for ages, and then, in a space of a few weeks, your life turns around dramatically. But this time is definitely for the better. HMF and I have finally found a flat after lots of looking around and flats we wanted being taken right before we were gonna place our offers. This one is in a very nice part of west London. It’s quite luxurious with two equally sized double bedrooms, a spacious kitchen, dining and livingroom area inn an open pplan sollution and a huge bathroom. The foyer downstairs make me think of upper class New York building complexes. The tiles are beautiful and there’s artwork on the walls. There’s a nice communal garden, but hopefully it’s private enough for my sun worshiping and our closest neighbour is a waitrose, something I absolutely love since I’m used to not living near a super market, which I really really miss. So, we’re moving in this Saturday and everything has been organized, so I hope everything will go smoothly.

Not only have I been fortunate to have found a new place to live, I also have a new job. But I just got one didn’t I? That’s right, I did, but that was really only freelance work. This is a full time position with normal hours, so no ridiculous shift times. I got given the job, which is in the children’s department, because they knew me there from the job I was doing before this news one. I’m not working in TV though which I’m happy about, but online and I’m going to communicate directly with the audience, the children, but not only that, I will conduct webchats with celebs and children’s TV presenters etc whenever they have webchat. I will do more as well, but not sure about everything yet. I know a few of my new colleagues already, so it won’t be hard to get to know everybody I think. I think they want me for at least two years, which is nothing but a great thing. And the job couldn’t have come at a better time.

Hopefully, with so many new beginnings, my lovelife will start taking a turn for the better? My crush on V was just a crush. I was gonna go on a lunch date with him, but it never happened, because I had to cancel. Had to edit something for a news bulletin, but maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. The encounter with my ex A was great, but he hasn’t even dropped me as much as a text message, so I’m pretty pissed off with him and it’s good I’m moving since I’m less likely to give in to my desire for him then. A friend of mine, who I’ve previously called Twin B, but who’ll be Ray from now on, seems to be taking an interest in me, but I don’t want to dwell on it too much, because there are a few reasons why we really shouldn’t be together. Nadz is having his baby in two months and although they’ve broken up, it may not be such a good idea to be with him. Also, he’s C, or twin A’s best mate, well, maybe not? Things have been changing lots lately, but if that’s the case, I’d find it hard because I really hate C. Reasons why I say Ray might be showing interest? He always comments on my facebook statuses, at least most of the time and, he appears to be coming to our house warming party. We were ok before, but now there’s much more talking. Could well be that he just want to strengthen the friendship, which would be fine to me. He is blind after all, which isn’t so great when I want a sighted guy, but we shall wait and see. Hopefully, I won’t go without sex for months though. Ray and I are really similar actually. We have the same sense of humour and like teh same films and music. And, he produces music.

I know my blog is boring now, simply because I’m happy, but I keep writing for the sake of writing really. Don’t wanna put it aside.

Endorphines

I got the text message as I was about to leave work. “I’ll come see you later if that’s cool?” it said. I replied that it was. I hadn’t seen A for ages. I don’t really trust him to come around when he says he’ll come around, so I didn’t keep my hopes up. We’re just friends now and although I really really missed being in bed with him, there were no romantic feelings, which again meant I wouldn’t bee terribly disappointed should he not show up. But he did knock on my door after I called him to let him know I was home. I had expected the visit to be short and sweet, but as soon as he got in, he went over to my exercise bike and sat on it. I told him it wasn’t working, something that has frustrated me for months now. He went back to his flat which isn’t far from mine and got tools and came back. I couldn’t believe he was doing this. “There’s no point,” I told him. “It’s gonna break after 10 minutes of using it. “You know I like reparing stuff,” he said and didn’t give up until the pedal was back on where it should be. I thanked him, and he said I should get a new one, but hopefully it’d last a while. He came and sat opposite me and as we’re always quite physical when we’re together, we sat holding hands talking about anything and everything. “I seriously have retired from females,” he said. “It’s just too much hassle, I don’t need it.” I laughed. You said that to me a year ago,” I replied, wondering how long his retirement period would be this time. Me, feeling horny as always when he was around, pretended to be sad, so I sighed and said, “Ah well, no hopes of me getting laid tonight then,” but of course I wasn’t serious. Ok, I was half serious. We sat for there for a while before we both got up. “Can we just ly down?” I asked, my legs and back aching from a rather improvised home aerobics session I had done the day before. “Sssshh,” he said leading me towards my bed. I didn’t think anything was gonna happen. Just that we would ly down and that was it. The radio had been playing reggae love tunes all evening and as we laid down, a very romantic one came on. He roled on top of me and I wrapped my legs around his back. We were still fully dressed and I still couldn’t imagine anything was gonna happen. Not at all because he had supposedly retired from females, but more because he was quite clear about the fact that there was nothing between us. But we both started moving against each other and then kissing. Yes, I thought understanding that something might be happening.

He pulled away from the embrace and unsipped my jeans. I let him take them off as well as my knickers. On one hand wanting this more than ever, on the other, thinking he must think I was too easy letting him get on so quickly. But I forgot that soon enough. His clothes were off and he was kissing his way down my body. He touched and bit me like he used to do. God, how much I had missed this, craved this! He came with appreciative sound. “You’re still fucking fit gal,” he said, his accent turning Jamaican as it always seem to do when we were together like this. He kissed his way from my thighs and up to my lips before lying down on top of me.

When he first entered me, it hurt. I think partly because I hadn’t done this for ages and partly because I was exhausted from the long shift at work, but we soon got back into our old comfort with each other. It suited me fine that he took the lead. He made me come the first time when he was on top of me. the second time, while we were doing doggy style and the third and final time, when I was laying on my stomach with my legs together which is a perfect position for hitting right on the g-spot. He came inside me in that position and with Vybz Kartel and Spice singing about the rampin shop on the radio.

Afterwards we laid there me twisting my head so we could kiss and our hands holding tight. Then he started massaging me. It felt great and I was happy and sleepy for what had just happened. I knew he liked it to. It was different sleeping with him when I had no feelings. I could observe him and I knew he was honest when he said he wanted it to happen again soon. Me too. In fact if I wasn’t at work, I’d go demand it right now.

I showered quickly to get the sweat off. I needed to get up 05.30 the next morning and wouldn’t have time for anything but gulp down a smoothy. He dried me afterwards, bit by bit while we kissed and kissed. “So, long retirement,” I said as he was about to leave. “Nah, I’m still retired,…” he said not finishing the sentence and as he walked out, “Let’s take things slow yeah babes ansd how about chilling this Friday?” “Very good idea,” I said.

I didn’t manage to get to sleep that night. I was so full of energy and I felt good and sore.

Wa gwan!

A while since I’ve been posting here, but I actually have something half decent to write about this time, so I guess noone will mind.

Firstly, I left my job in children and started my new jobin International news. It was sad to leave, but as they say, every end is a new beginning and that’s so true. I was really looking forward to a new challenge. Because even though I loved my previous job, I wanted more responsibilities and when this new job just came to me, I couldn’t say no. Also, this is the field I’m trained in, journalism, so it was perfect. In reality, I’m a researcher, but I like to think of it as junior broadcast journalist. I do pretty much what the broadcast journalists do, except from creating the content completely and the next step up from researcher is broadcast journalist, which actually is called BJ. Yeah, I still get the giggles when I have to say BJ in a serious context so I try my best to say the two words completely to avoid embarrassment.

My new office is very different to the old one. Where as there was only one programme in my old office, there are several in this office, which is the news room. You have my news team, mainly responsible for the news bullettins and making all material available on the internal servers, but also other news programmes. The cool thing is that everyone comes from all over the world,which gives the place a special atmosphere. We all speak good English and have, in most cases lived in Britain for many years, but we are from other parts of the world, so we all share that. I think that helps making a more instant bond between us. It’s certainly a good ice breaker. “where are you from? How long have you lived here? etc.” and then we go on to talk about our respective countries. Of course there are British people too and we don’t talk about foreign stuff all the time. And trust me to hang out with the Caribs first thing. I’ve got quite friendly with a girl from Trinidad who is a researcher like me called D as well as a nice Irish girl working in a different department, but who has been very helpful since she does lots of admin stuff. in fact, she taught me the route from the tube station to work and told me about all the things I would want to know about on the route. I work in central London now, and on the way to work, there are a few coffee shops, two fresh fruit stalls which are both cheaper and better than the super market and a news agents. There are also lots of cafes, restaurants and theatres in the area, so I’m not exactlyshort of choice when it comes to entertainment and fun. And, the guy I fancy, who’s called V by the way, is working quite close to where I work to. I have some more news about him, but will probably wait till a later post. D also got quite excited when I told her about my love for Caribbean men and have a few guys she wants me to meet. Wonder if there are any Norwegians working wheree I work. would be cool to find out.

HMF and I are still on the hunt for somewhere new to live. We almost found a place too. We had negotiated that the changes we needed to make to the place were doable, and then arranged a second viewing where we brought Miss C to make sure everything was ok with the property. Good thing we did that, cause we found out one of the bedroom ceilings had a terrible colour and that the flat generally would be a bit too small for us, so we had to call the deal of. Pity really, especially because it’s gonna be hard to find a ground floor and garden flat for £300 a week in West London. At least we have a deadline now. May 31st we should have found a new place. HMF needs to be out of her place then because her contract’s up and I need to be out of my place, or I’ll comitt suicide. Ok. I know it’s not good to joke about suicide, but I really hate my place with the passion. The area’s so lame and I’ve got far to travel to work. Such a pity we couldn’t take that lovely flat we both liked so much back in January.

Apart from new job and flat hunting, I’ve had some time off. I haven’t been able to start work properly yet, because I’ve had to have a lot of training with new softwares etc. so I’ve managed to do lots of things I should have done ages ago, which feels great. I also got sometime to catch up withTK, go see Joseph and the technicolour dreamcoat with Kiwigirl and yesterday, I went to see my ex colleague O who lives near Brixton. He’s a gay, quite camp guy and very good looking and we got quite close just before I left. It was such a wonderful day, so we went down to Brixton market, where I spent way more than I had planned. I got a pair of beautiful read ear rings made of shells, matching chrystal braislet and ear rings, cocobutter, Innocents sticks and a few esentials. As we went around, O told me whenever a guy was trying to check me, or him out and these Jamaican dancers, tried to get me to come dance with them, which I might have done had I been alone and a bit bored. We got the giggles in Bodyshop where I needed to get some handcream when we figured that we both thought the guy who worked there was really hot. This was very embarrassing. Especially because I got the giggles badly while he was helping me pick out the best cream. I managed to stop laughing for a bit, but it started again when I was about to pay and O loudly declared that right in front of me was an article about safe sex. The guy in the shop, the hot one, started laughing with us, while the not so hot guy who took my money was winking at me thinking I was trying to check him out. We nearly ran out of the shop laughing like two silly school kids. I was in a really good mood when I got home and that has lasted all through today. It’s so springy outside and I’m loving it!

Gonna have my first proper shift tomorrow. Well, I’m not gonna be completely alone as a BJ will watch over me and tell me what to do. Haha. I’m gonna trail another researcher as well, so won’t be alone.

Happy Birthday to me, 2 days late

Firstly, I have to wish myself a happy belated birthday. 24, I’m not even half way to 50 yet, so I can still behave like a kid! woohoo! Not that I’m likely to stop reading trashy high school chick lit when I’m married and have a family, but it’s a little less unacceptable now still.

I have been amazing this year, because the sun was shining and it was really warm Saturday. I had hoped to catch up on some sleep, but got woken up by people sending text messages. and I got loads. I don’t think I’ve had so many greetings on my birthday ever! My facebook wall was full of greetings from people I almost had forgotten about. Even my mentor text my phone and even TJ wrote me a facebook message!

For dinner, we were going to Thai square. However, the confirmation email I got for my booking told me Thai square was closed on a Saturday, so had to text everyone and we went to Brick Lane and found a cheap, but nice Indian place. £10 for three courses and they even put the candle on my cake. It was actually my second cake as well. I got one from my colleagues on Friday. My boss took me aside and said he needed to have a meeting about something and whilst we sat on the sofa, the whole team came and sang Happy Birthday and I got a cake. How sweet was that!!

I was quite nervous about the dinner. I had invited friends from different groups and wasn’t sure if everybody would get on, but the atmosphere was good and everyone were chatting to everyone. After the successful dinner, I went to the club where Jay was organizing the party I mentioned in my previous post. I was gonna meet some other friends there who hadn’t been able to make it to the meal.

At first, I was chilling with Jay by the door. I felt a little insecure since I didn’t know many people but thought that would pass. Indeed, Jay introduced me to a few of her friends and not long after, my friends arrived too. It was cool at first. we danced, and it was a good vibe, but then they went to the toilet. I said I’d wait for them in the spot they left me, so I was just dancing and doing my own thing. I’d been there for half an hour, when this woman started asking me who and where my friends were, if I was alright etc. I said I was fine and when she said I didn’t look alright, I got really freaked out. It’s bad enough being stuck on a dance floor not having a clue about direction, not knowing where your friends are and not being able to phone because the music is so loud. When someone tells you you don’t look alright, well, that was the final straw for me. I shouted at her asking her what the hell was wrong with me while praying that Jay would come and find me since she was working on the door and regularly came to check if I was ok. So, I found her and asked if there was something wrong with me. she said it was probably an eye contact issue. True, many people think I’m pissed because I don’t look at them.

I stayed with Jay the rest of the evening. My friends, R and M were gone and there was no sign of them. I was a little upset. If they wanted to leave, they could at least have told me. but I tried to forget about it and I danced til my feat got sore. I met a couple of 1xtra DJs and the music was amazing. Went to bed 7 AM Sunday morning and slep till 3. I hadn’t had many drinks luckily, because being drunk, would have made things worse when I was stuck on the dance floor, but I woke up with a horrible migraine which lasted the rest of the day, so went to bed early. I reckon it was all the sleep I didn’t have last week that finally caught up with me. I’m still tired and need an early night, but feel way better than the end of last week. Overall though, I think my birthday went well and I’m glad I went out clubbing. And I also found out lots of people care about me, which means a lot to me, since my confidence is a bit low when it comes to that.

Oh, and I did have 3 texts from my R saying she had looked for me everywhere but couldn’t find me. I believe her and I don’t, because the club wasn’t that big. Besides, there weren’t too many white people around so she should have found me easy. We’re ok though. I spoke to her today, so no harm done. Just a shame it happened.

Spring!

Spring’s in the air and I hope it’s come to stay. The sun has been shining and the tempratures have been nice and mild since Sunday. I hope it stays like this as it is my birthday in two days! And regarding my birthday, I haven’t been looking forward to my birthday so much since I was a kid. It’s not a big one. I’m only gonna be 24 and we all know how it goes when I arrange big parties, so I decided to play safe this year and first have a few friends with me for dinner and then go to a club. I didn’t know which club to go to though, so I texted my good friend Jay, who knows lots of famous people like Sanchez, Mr. vegas and also more mainstream hip-hop artists to see if she could help. And I was in luck. She’s arranging a party in memory of her friend, a DJ who sadly died 3 years ago and my night was saved. It just can’t go wrong this year. The dinner will be a small thing with 7 people, or maybe a few more and there will be people coming to the club, perhaps, my crush too. Oh and regarding him, I still have a crush, but I don’t think I can have it like when I was a teen. I’m too picky these days and I know what it’s like being in a relationship, so he’ll get me is he deserves me. Even if none of my friends went with me, it would have been ok, since Jay is there and would introduce me to people. I don’t mind not knowing lots of people as long as I know I’ll end up in interesting company. So, if my birthday goes wrong, well…. It’s not an option. it’s not happening!

Apart from that, there might be another part time job going that I’m going for a chat about Monday. That would be good. Casual work is not all that safe in terms of income and knowing I would have work at least twice a week would make me feel better. I’d get more work of course on top of that, but there would be no week without work.

Sorry not to have anything more interesting to update y’all about, but hopefully Sunday should be a good day for Blogging, or Monday if I’m not too exhausted after all the partying!

Crushes totally suck!

I’ve managed to get myself ihn a situation I haven’t been in for years and years. I have a crush on somebody. Ok, I’ve beenreally in love, guess had a crush in the last five years, but it’s all been on boys I’ve been with, or slept with. This time though, it’s like the good old days. A distance crush. I’ll tell you more about how I met him in another post, but I can tell you he’s attractive, intelligent, got a good sense of humour and he’s the first guy I’ve been into in a long time who has some money. Not rich, but not broke either, which is the same as me really. He’s got very pretty hands and a very nice charming smile. And for those of you who know me from reading my blog, yes, he’s black and Caribbean, but that hardly comes as a surprise. I’m way to shy to make a move on him though. I think the clue is to meet him on my own, as in not in a huge gathering of friends, as friends, meaning not a date as such. Hell, that was complicated to read, but hopefully you get me. I’m a woman with a crush, so I am allowed to write shit like that. But how? How do I ask him out? Do I ask him out? Surely he should have done if he was interested? We did text a little between us and he remembers the jokes I came out with that night we met, which is a good sign. OK, maybe I won’t be lucky, but… I can dream!

In the near future

I got the job. The one I was talking about a couple of posts ago I practically got headhunted for. I got it! When my contract finishes at the end of this month, I’m gonna start working in International news. Quite a step away from Children’s TV, but I’m looking forward to it. It will be on a freelance basis to start off with, which will mean irregular shifts, but individual shifts pay really well, so I could get rich if I work enough. I’ve met my new team as well and they’re lovely! And it’s nearly my birthday! Lots to celebrate! And a freelance contract may well turn into something more regular, so I’m happy.

Wondering

I met him in a pub. He was a friend of a friend of mine. Single, charaismatic, intelligent and with good humour. He bought me drinks and treated me like a queen all night. He didn’t have to stay and chat with me all night, he didn’t have to put his arm around me, didn’t have to buy me drinks. He did it. Why did he do it? We went on the tube together. I was tired and a little tipsy. He held me. I leaned my head against his shoulder. He held me tighter. We exchanged number and then my bus arrived. It had felt magical between us. We were on the same wave length. We hugged. No kiss. I was too shy. Haven’t heard from him since, that’s five days ago now, but can’t get him out of my head. Can’t remember I was in this state of mind. Maybe he’s not that into me, maybe not, but I wish. I want something to happen with us, but if it doesn’t, he made me feel beautiful and great for one evening. I just wish he’d call or text me? Can I call or text him? will I be too nagging? Help!

Exciting times

Five weeks and one day left till my contract runs out. Great huh? But I’m beginning to be slightly more optimistic than I was after I left that depressing course I went on. Jeez, I’m still amazed at how depressing that actually was. But two very exciting things happened this week which have made me feel excited and in a good mood.

The first thing was that I had a meeting with the people at my favourite radio station. I was a little nervous. I was big for me to be there and perhaps I met some of the DJs? I didn’t meet any, but I met the reducers on one of my favourite shows, which was pretty cool. The girl said she recognized me from the bus and I was told a few funny facts about the presenter on that show. Sadly, no work was offered, but I think they wanted me there since I have a great knowledge and passion for the station. However, there will be opportunities for me to sit in on a few shows which will be fantastic! And as long as I manage to find something else in this organization, I can always apply for position at that station when they come up.

Another, perhaps more exciting thing happened to me yesterday morning. The news editor of the international output of where I work rang me and said they needed a multi media researcher. He explained the role and he wasn’t put off about the fact I haven’t worked much in news. He started to talk about what kind of contract he could offer me and could I please come down and sit with the team for a bit so he could get an idea of me as a person and how I’d fit in? I was very delighted. It does seem like I have the next job already, but I still need to prove myself, so I’m not keeping my hopes up in case I get disappointed. If I get that job, a lot of you my readers, as well as a lot of people around the world, will get online to see news I have published! That’s so cool.

Next week, I’ll work with children’s radio for three days. I’ll spend one day writing stories, one day writing scripts and one day in the studio. I’m really looking forward to it, so work wise, Angel’s a busy bee.

Socially, my life is OK. Think I said in my last post that I wouldn’t mind meeting someone again. However, I think I’ve grown with regards to who I’m dating and my approach. Boys with one track minds, no longer attract me, even though my sex drive’s the same as always. It’s just so annoying when they go on about, “So, you say you’ve been busy, the question is, busy doing what?” and I know they’re talking about sex.

Gonna have a quiet Friday evening, but have plans to hook up with some mates Saturday and Sunday.

You sound much happier!

“I don’t quite know how to say this without sounding rude,” he started. “Come on, if I think you’re rude, I’ll tell you off,” I replied. “Well,” he started hesitantly. “It’s just that you haven’t really sounded all that happy for the past year or so and I’ve just noticed that from December 2008 you started sounding a bit more like yourself.” “Oh really?” I asked, not thinking he had been particularly rude at all. “When did I start sounding really horrible then?” I asked with a little laugh. “About January last year, yeah, that’s when you lost it a little I think.” I lost it a little; his choice of words amused me. “I guess you’re right,” I said while my brain tried to quickly come up with all the events of 2008. It had actually been a pretty shitty year starting when I decided to go out with KS and gone down hill from there. You’d think it had started with the break up from M, but although that left me quite depressed, I had a nice time as well. Those of my friends who were true friends were showing it and taking care of me and I think I came closer to some of them which perhaps wouldn’t have happened had M and I still been together. If I shall be quite honest with myself, I think the time of the break-up was rather bitter sweet. “And from December last year, I got more cheerful,” I asked. “Yeah, you now sound like your happy self again.” “You know, I think you’re right,” I said. So far 2009 has been a good year. Not too much happening as of yet, but no troubles either. Ok, the whole stress with TJ and me having only six weeks left of my contract at work does drain me a little, but not compared to the issues that got me down last year. Ok and I’m pretty sad about the fact that both Tarrus Riley, Etana, Sanchez and Mr. Vegas are in the country right now and I’m not seeing either of them. guess I could make the journey to Brixton Academy to see at least Tarrus riley and Etana, but have no one to go with and I’m a little scared of the whole going to a gig on my own thing. And I just think it’s not meant to happen yet. I’ll probably meet a handsome Jamaican boy like my psychic friend told me and go to Jamaica and see all my fav dancehall musicians then.

The person I was speaking to was Le Petit Prince, of course over the phone. I decided to answer when my landline rang. I knew it was him, because not many people have my landline number and because I do avoid him a lot of times because I quickly get bored talking to him, I feel really bad and therefore have to talk to him every now and again. It can work as long as we discus something interesting and as long as the conversation isn’t too long. Discussing my happiness and unhappiness was followed by me trying to ask him why he, at nearly 26 still lived with his parents and didn’t have something like a job. If he had had more of a life outside of his home, it would be much more interesting to talk to him more often, but of course I didn’t say that bit.

Apart from discussing my well being on the phone, I went to this career development course, Thursday and Friday which definitely was bad for my overall happiness. It was actually very hard not to start crying in the middle of all the silly tasks we had to complete. Half of them not even accessible to me and the advice they gave us on networking because I’m doing all that crap they’re telling us already. Then, it was the bad conscience I felt for hating the course because I always feel bad when I don’t like something. So I was very happy when it was over. They also kept reminding us of the short time left of out contract. I don’t think, hope I am particularly cocky, but my female intuition tells me I won’t be screwed and left unemployed in six weeks. My psychic friend, who I want to trust with all my heart and soul, says I will know 2-4 weeks. I hope she is right and that she genuinely feels this and not just say it to make me feel good. She has been right about a few things lately though with regards to me, but only very small things.

Valentine’s Day I got so many cards I couldn’t open my front door. DUH! I stayed in and didn’t do much really. Now, my mate’s coming over for a cup of tea. The one I slept with last month, but I don’t feel like any sex today. Did I, Naughty Angel just say that? Life of a young female journalist › Add New Post — WordPress
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You sound much happier!
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“I don’t quite know how to say this without sounding rude,” he started. “Come on, if I think you’re rude, I’ll tell you off,” I replied. “Well,” he started
hesitantly. “It’s just that you haven’t really sounded all that happy for the past year or so and I’ve just noticed that from December 2008 you started
sounding a bit more like yourself.” “Oh really?” I asked, not thiking he had been particularly rude at all. “When did I start sounding really horrible
then?” I asked with a little laugh. “About January last year, yeah, that’s when you lost it a little I think.” I lost it a little, his choiceof words ammused
me. “I guess you’re right,” I said while my brain tried to quickly come up with all the events of 2008. It had actually been a pretty shitty year startingwhen
I decidedto go out with KS and gone down hill from there. You’d think it had started with the break up from M, but although that left me quite depressed,
I had a nice time as well. Those of my friends who were true friends were showing it and taking care of me and I think I came closer to some of themwhich
perhaps woudln’t have happened had M and I still been together. If I shall be quite honest with myself, I think the time of the break-up was rather bitter
sweet. “And from December last year, I got more cheerful,” I asked. “Yeah, you now sound like your happy self again.” “You know, I think you’re right,”I
said. So far 2009 has been a good year. Not too much happening as of yet, but no troubles either. Ok, the whole stress with TJ and me having only six weeks
left of my contract at work does drain me a little, but not compared to the issues that got me down last year. Ok and I’m pretty sad about the fact that
both Tarrus Riley, Etana, Sanchez and Mr. Vegas are in the country right now and I’m not seeing either of them. guess I could make the journey to Brixton
Academy to see at leastTarrus riley and Etana, but have no one to go with and I’m a little scared of the whole going to a gig on my own thing. and I just
think it’s not meant to happen yet. I’ll probably meet a handsome Jamaican boy like my psycic friend told me and go to Jamaica and see all my fav dancehall
musicians then.

The person I was speaking to, was Le Petit Prince, fo course over the phone. I decided to answer when my landline rang. I knew it was him, because not many
people have my landline number and because I do avoid him a lot of times because I quickly get bored talking to him, I feel really bad and therefore have
to talk to him every now and again. It can work as long as we discus something interesting and as long as the conversation isn’t too long. Discussing my
happiness and unhappiness was followedby me trying to ask him why he, at nearly 26 still lived with his parents and didn’t have something like a job. If
he had had more of a life outside of his home, it would be much more interesting to talk to him more often, but of course I didn’t say that bit.

Apart from discussing my wel being on the phone, I went to this career development course, Thursday and Friday which definitely was bad for my overall happiness.
It was actually very hard not to start crying in the middle of all the silly tasks we had to complete. Half of them not even accessible to me and theadvice
they gave us on networking because I’m doing all that crap they’re telling us already. Then, it was the bad concience I felt for hating the course because
I always feelbad when I don’t like something. So I was very happy when it was over. They also kept reminding us of the short time left of out contract.
I don’t think, hope I am particularly cocky, but my female intuition tells me I won’t be screwed and left unemployed in six weeks. My psycic friend who
I want to trust with all my heart and soul, says I will knowin 2-4 weeks. I hope she is right and that she genuinly feels this and not just say it to make
me feel good. She has been right about a few things lately though with regards to me, butg only very small things. Valentine’s day I got so many cards
I couldn’t open my front door. DUH! I stayed in and didn’t do much really. Now, my mate’s coming over for a cup of tea. The one I slept with lastmonth,
but I don’t feel like any sex today. Did I, Naughty Angel just say that?
Word count: 814Draft Saved at 3:33:35 pm.

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Winter, winter and mor winter!

I really can’t believe how much snow there has been in London this week. As you all probably know from having watched the news, because of course it hit the International news as well as the British ones, you will know that the entire city collapsed under the shiny white snow. Being from Norway, I am used to snow, however much I hate it, so I didn’t take it seriously when people talked about schools and stuff being closed, so I ventured out in the cold to go to work Monday morning. I was quite surprised to see the amounts, but thought I would get to work eventually until someone told me there were no busses. So I went home and had a day off which was nice. Wish I’d had a ly-in though.

Apart from that, I’ve been flat hunting with HMF who’s in America at the moment and I’ve spent lots of time out with friends and made lots of new ones within the organization I work. I’m also planning my career. My contract ends in seven weeks, and I don’t wanna be unemployed on benefits, so I’m trying to make contacts with whoever I can.

I also met A’s daughter! Don’t think I mentioned that he had a daughter, but he does. A beautiful girl called S who is 2 years old. I came up for a short while while she was asleep. I touched her face, hair, hands and feat and she does look a lot like her dad. I couldn’t stay long though. Neither he nor I want me and the babymum to meet. a and I are getting closer now. Much closer and the amazing chemistry between us have returned. I know we will not get back together again. But I know we’re both sad it ended.

With TJ, I am having a few problems right now. That guy owes me a great deal of money. So much so, I have to get it back and I have to admit I haven’t been the nicest towards him, but to be honest, it no longer works to be nice. Not when that doesn’t get you anywhere. I’ve tried everything from asking him nicely; to being a little harsher towards him until I exploded a few days ago and we had a fight. I told him exactly what I thought about him. That he could not be trusted and that I thought he wasn’t ever gonna pay me back. He hung up on me, unable to argue like man and he claimed I treated him like a prick. I said I knew I was, but he behaved like one and my golden rule in life, it to treat people the way they treat me, so really, he’s asking for it. He claims he’s done me nothing wrong, which so isn’t true. He accused me of this, that and the other and he stole money from me as well. He promised me to come buy with the money on Tuesday, but then he texted me and said he couldn’t make it. I appreciated him doing that, so texted back thanking him for letting me know. Then, he didn’t turn up and didn’t text the next day, which pissed me off again. I texted him saying I hope someone in his family had died, because that was the only excuse I would accept for him not making it. Not that I hope something has happened to his family, but I think you know what I mean about that. Not sure he did though, because his brains are a little watered out by weed. Anyway, I continued saying I’d nag him until I got the money and that I wasn’t the only pissed off with him and that felt great. That last thing was unnecessary, but if I don’t get the dough back, at least I can say that I didn’t do my best. Also, it’s quite simple. He gives back what he owes me; I have no reason to be bitchy towards him so my behaviour is justified right?

A step forward

Congratulations to barack Obama. I wish him lots of luck and success as president of the US of A. He’s got many challenges ahead and I hope he’s as good at acting as he is at speaking. America has shown that society has taken a step forward in allowing the most powerful job in the states, perhaps in the whole world to a man who isn’t white. As Mr. Obama said in his speech, 60 years ago, he wouldn’t be served in local restaurants certain places in America. By electing him as president, The American people have almost fulfilled the dream Martin Luther King had, a dream about a nation where we’re all treated as equals. I say almost, because there are still attitudes among every colour and ethnicity that needs to be broken down, but one day Racism will hopefully be an issue of the past

So here’s to a successful term for Barack Obama!

My anual horoscope for 2009

I of course have to post my horoscope for 2009. This is looking very exciting indeed. I do hope it all comes true.

2009 Overview – Aries
Pioneering and courageous Aries is being called to times of incredible new growth and renewal. The considerable reflective time you have spent rehashing and deciding which avenue will best serve your highest purpose has shaken you to the very root of your personal belief systems. Through surrendering to your higher self, new realisations and golden opportunities you never thought possible are brilliantly opening up for you.
Your new commitment to self has given you a renewed appreciation of the your divine wisdom and accomplishments. The understanding you have radiates love and compassion, and is attracting your highest good.
As your creative spirit soars, the excitment you feel helps you submit to the larger purpose and vision gained in your dreamtime. You are easily able to bring your work out into the world with clarity and purpose. Your heart’s desires are quickly manifesting right before your eyes and you are able to reap long-standing benefits as you detach from the past and are catapulted forward.
Because of your humanitarian ideals and desire to be a helper in our emerging world, be careful not to fall into old patterns of helping others fulfil their needs rather than taking care of your own. As you grow, people are drawn to your altruistic ideas and your visionary and compassionate personality.
In spite of your good endurance and concentration, remember to take care of yourself on an everyday basis to maintain wholeness and integration. Finding a good physical outlet for your frustrations is important so that you don’t deplete your energy and prevent yourself from getting what you really want. Enjoyment is the fundamental desire of your life, and you are able to create the life you enjoy.

Love life
Your love takes on a new dimension this year. Your relationships will be about balance and an even flow of give-and-take. Your friends will be very influential in helping your idealistic dreams manifest. Your enthusiasm for a better future will attract socially motivated groups, and you will meet some beneficial associates who are striving for a better world.
You have no problem starting new relationships, and are able to let go of connections that no longer serve you. You will move on with a pioneering spirit. Trusting your higher self provides the discernment you need to understand people’s true motives and still maintain a healthy sense of self. Make conscious decisions regarding other people on a romantic level, and keep your hopes and dreams realistic.
A wonderful circle of love and unity surrounds you. In the summertime, your passion will attract a partner who makes you feel safe, and you will be able to love more deeply than ever before. You’re willing to take risks for someone who is emotionally strong.
You feel so positive and uplifted that everything seems perfect, as if you are really tapping in to some great spiritual blessings. You will feel you need to establish some personal roots, and will find yourself thinking about home and family more than ever before. In October, you might find yourself desiring marriage, after a genuine deepening in your primary relationship.

Career
Since transformation and rebirth are manifesting in new realms for you this year, it’s a good time to reflect on your deeper mission in life. As an Aries, you are a powerhouse of energy who enjoys being in charge and drawing upon your strong resources to forge ahead in the world. Allow the universe to support, transform and shift your career in order to remake yourself. You may be called upon to change the structure and let go of old energies, resistance and previous patterns of your professional life that no longer serve you. You realise how important it is to call back the parts of yourself that you have given away, and to bring back your own sense of dedication to higher ideals and your willingness to be a channel for healing yourself and society.
These changes will help you feel much more in control, grounded and supported as you start the year streamlining your focus in a more methodical way. This requires exercising a bit more patience than Aries usually likes. As you allow yourself to trust and recreate your path of heart and amplify your aliveness, fully express your visionary impulses and rediscover your unique structure of individuality.
Abundant thinking and a sense of community enhance your career – and your enjoyment thereof. You gain power and the momentum needed to make a forward shift. Step into your authority and open your heart so that you may bring in new energy and manifest the results you desire. Your attitudes about success and taking charge of your life will evolve as you find a new sense of what you really want.

Joy ride

We sat next to each other in my two arm chairs. He was drinking tea; I had hot water with lime. He’s a healer and had just had a session on me to get rid of my headache. It was the first time I tried Reiki and I found it intriguing. I felt warm, comfy and a little sleepy too. It was after all one in the morning, night till Saturday and that day at work had seemed very long.

“So, you gave up on that list?” he asked and sipped his tea. His girlfriend were in the states and they had an agreement that they could have a little bit of fun whilst she was back to see her family over Christmas. I knew she had gotten off with this girl whose boyfriend apparently wasn’t too happy about, but he had so far stayed faithful. That, he said, was mainly because he had spent the holidays in Wales and nobody on the list lived there. They had made a list. It does sound a little strange, but they mainly did it so that he shouldn’t get on to one of their close friends which would have been very awkward later on. We had talked about the list earlier, three girls were on it, and he said I knew all of them. I had managed to guess that one of the three was me because apart from the fact that I knew them all, I only know two blond foreign girls who he knows too. But it did take me a while. “No, I didn’t give up, but I figured out who the final girl was.” I was keen to change the subject as it was a little awkward talking about it. I wasn’t up for anything. Was happy being single and about the fact that I had had no sex in four months, although I did miss that a little. “Are you gonna have a test drive before she comes back?” I asked when it was clear he anted to stay on that very subject. We had talked about sex like driving a car before because we discussed whether it was right or wrong to which I said, “You need to test drive a car before you buy It.” and sex and cars had become one subject between us. “I don’t know, I’d love a test drive in some foreign car while my current car’s away.” we spoke like that for ages until we came to the conclusion that we were gonna try a test drive.

I put on some music to get me in the mood, Jamie Foxx. I was rather nervous. I’d never seen him as more than a friend since we met nearly five years earlier. He was not really the type I normally went for either. Barely taller than me, with facial hair that was very soft and he was blond. He started massaging me. Rubbing cream all over my back. I was careful to be on my tummy. Wasn’t ready for him to see my breasts yet. He was good. We spoke about normal things and laughed while he went about it. I felt myself relaxing and enjoying it.

After a while, I felt brave enough to turn over. He started on my chest and neck and worked his way down with his hands. But he didn’t touch my breasts, not yet. He bent over and kissed me. I could feel his hardness through his jeans against my jeans. His breathing was slow, controlled. He leaned over me and started kissing me. Every now and again let our noses rub Eskimo style to add a little humour to it. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. I let him have full control of me. He sucked my breasts; let his hand run all the way down to my jeans and hen up again. He was teasing me. My nipples were hard and I felt my heart starting to beat faster. I wanted him. Maybe for one night only, but I wanted him.

“Are you ok,” he said kissing me. “Yeah,” I said. “I really love this. Teasing you.” “It’s almost going too slow,” I said. “I love it too, but,” I didn’t finish my sentence. He’d gone on for nearly an hour. I love foreplay, but I was tired and I just wanted to get down to it at this point. He took my jeans and knickers off. I was all naked. He stared at me. I could tell he likes what he saw. He leaned over me again and started sucking my breast. “How can I make this as bad as possible?” he said. “How can I tease you and drive you crazy?” He kissed his way from my breast to my stomach and further down. He stopped before he reached between my legs. He kissed my thighs and spread my legs. I felt his warm breath on me. It felt awesome. He kissed and bit the inside of my thighs, no doubt leaving hickeys. “You like that,” he said. His tongue coming out slowly and just about licked my clit before he concentrated on my thighs again. He did that for a while until my body reached for him. I pushed my pussy towards him, begging him to take me without saying anything. He buried his face between my legs and put a finger inside me. It felt so, so, I moaned. His fingers rubbing my g-spot combined with his tongue was the most amazing thing I had felt in months. I moaned out loud. That excited him and he started rubbing and licking harder and faster.

He was on top of me. I was pining for it now. Needed him to get inside me. But he took his time. “I’m sorry for having been so evil,” he said with a little laugh. “But I’m not sorry for this.” And then he drove his cock into me hard. A moan escaped me. Finally I had him inside me. He put my legs over his shoulder and was going hard and fast, the way I like it. Then he took my legs down and fucked me with them around his back. I pushed him into me holding his butt. He liked variety. Sometimes he was gentle, sometimes fast. He made me come. Two times. The first orgasm was strong, my legs on his shoulders. The second was stronger, my legs just hanging in the air. And then I got up on top of him.

I started riding him gently. Winding my hips going up and down slowly teased him, like he had teased me. Took half of him inside me before I almost let him come out completely. I was in control now. It turned me on even more to see how what I did affected him. He had been quiet for most of the time, but now, as I took him half in and half out, moans escaped his lips. I went faster, started going rough. He started moving to. Gave it to me like I gave it to him. Holding my waste, we both fucked each other, this was no love making. This was not love, just a test drive. A damn good test drive, but there was no hope of my car becoming his, he becoming my driver. A joy ride, yeah, joy ride was abetter word for what we were doing.

He took over again. I was still on top, but I laid my upper body down and let him do all the moves. “I want you to come for me like this” I whispered, feeling a third orgasm was on its way. “You sure?” he asked speeding up. “Yeah, oh yeah, please!”
I came again, not so intense this time, but still nice as he was moving faster and faster towards his happy ending. I almost didn’t feel him come. It was a slow one rather than a quick and intense one. When I felt it, I squeezed my muscles around his dick get it all out of him.

When it was over, be both laid there panting. Our sweat mixed in with each other and the room slightly coming into my focus again. It had been wicked, I had needed it. He too by the looks of it. But this was just a joyride.

Moving flat

So, no naughty posts have appeared on this space yet, but I promise you it will. Still at work though, so it won’t be this time. I’ve just been either too busy or tired to write, but thought I just share some really good news with you. As you know, I’ve always hated the part of London I live in. Partly because it’s so isolated and partly because Si lives, not to far away and he’s gonna be let out of prison in May and lord knows what can happen to me then. I know he’s seeking revenche. But everything suddenly looked much better when I had a chat with High Maintenance femme about living together. We both wanna live in the same area of London because we know it well and it’s convenient with both our jobs. So we decided to find a flat with two double bedrooms. We’re flat hunting now and we’re gonna start viewing properties on Monday. I mostly look forward to living together, although it’s always a risk moving in with a good friend. It went well living with a good friend in Edinburgh, but the down side was that we stopped spending that much time together. Hopefully that won’t happen with HMF and me. I’m not worried that we’re gonna fall out or anything, just the thing about not spending a lot of time together.

I’m still worried about not getting work after my contract finishes in March. But I have a nice mentor who has put me in contact with a few people who again has put me in contact with others etc so I am working hard on it. Hope I get something more journalistically related the next time. I’m also moving team on Monday. Think it will be exciting as I’m ready for a change. I’ll have more responsibilities in that new team as well.

Off to a gig tonight with Kiwigirl. We’re gonna see her boyfriend. Have heard some of his stuff briefly on Myspace, but looking forward to seeing him perform in real life. He is an over all musician, so he can do anything.

Girls and sisters

I don’t like girls. No surprise there is it? As you know, I’m a big fan of the opposite sex, although sometimes I really wish I could just ditch them because they’re just creating lots of problems when you are romantically linked to them, at least the majority, the ones you’re not meant to be with. But I can moan about that later. Today it’s girls. When I say I don’t like girls, it means just that. I don’t like them. There is so much bitching and competitive behaviour between girls. Girls betray each other to get what they want. Girls back stab their friends if they can gain something from it. Then, you have girlfriends. Girlfriends of good looking guys you wouldn’t mind being with. Girlfriends that are being described by their boyfriends as very special and even when they moan about how their girlfriends moan, they talk about how much they love them. I hate these girls most of all. Why? Am I jealous, Envies? Do I want what they have? I don’t know really. All I know is, I find girls in general very annoying.

I separate between two categories of women. Girls and sisters. Girls are the ones I can’t stand and sisters are the ones I can. Sisters are the girls I love surrounding myself with. The girls that are true and honest friends. The girls I can talk to however cranky I feel and who will cheer me up by just talking about day to day things. Sisters are the girls I can share experiences and secrets with knowing that they won’t go out and tell everybody. Sisters are the girls who, even though they have drop dead gorgeous boyfriends, don’t brag about it or are being annoying about it. I’ve never fancied the boyfriend of a sister. Sisters do not necessarily have to be girls I know well. I can, in most cases tell very quickly whether I’m dealing with a girl or a sister.

I love my sisters and I am lucky to have them in my life. It’s important to take care of sisters. Alone, without sisters, a woman’s not really quite complete in some way.

It’s tempting to paste this post in an email and finish by saying, Send this to all the sisters in your life and you’ll be blessed with good luck, but I hate chain mail, so I will just encourage you guys to watch this space. The Angel had finally managed to be naughty in 2009, but I can’t write a very detailed post about that at work. Imagine the boss leaning over to have a peak!

Back to reality

Tuesday, and the week’s dragging. Ok, sorry, I don’t wanna spend this year complaining, but got a few things on my mind I feel like ranting about. Work. I still am thrilled to work here, but my work load isn’t very big at present and I’m bored. I’m working on two films, but I’m that kind of person who need a lot of donkey work to keep me going. There’s nothing I hate more than being bored at work and it’s hard to make the time pass as I can’t curl up in a chair with a book and a cup of tea. Ok, I can have the teacup, but the book’s a bit more tricky. I’m also thinking about the future. TV contracts are quite short and in three months mine’s running out. I am looking for internal jobs, but I think I might be more interested in radio than TV. In order to be a junior researcher in TV, you should be able to do your own film shoots. I’m sure I could do that, but they would look pretty bad if I didn’t have assistance. In radio, I can do everything myself and I’d need no assistance, at least not with the practical, which would be good. having a meeting with my mentor tomorrow, so I guess there’ll be quite a lot of career development talking.

Apart from me having very little to do at work, I arrived in London safe and sound on Sunday. My friend Mike came and picked me up. He has a car, which was very convenient. After I got home, my shopping got delivered, so I had food straight away. It was good being back, away from parents, although things were very peaceful over the holidays. The days before I went home were quite lazy too except Saturday when I went to a wedding. It was one of this huge weddings with 200 guests. The church was full and just as the bride and groom were gonna exchange vows, the fire alarm rang. The groom had said his “I do” and the bride was just about to do hers actually. Things like that only happen in commedies, so when the fire alarm went off, nobody even thought of moving. We all thought that it was a bad joke from the band the bride is playing in. When we got in, the groom said his “I do” again and this time, the bride got a chance too. The after party lasted a bit too long. At least the bit at the table. There was a buffet and lots and lots of speeches. We were sitting down for six hours straight, but it was fun too. I sat next to this Swedish girl who was very chatty and funny and we made good friends that evening and got quite tipsy together. I got home really late because of the long dinner, and had to get up early the next day to catch my flight.

New-years-eve was good too. Len’s dad is an amazing cook, and we had beef with bernaise and potato vegs. We had fruit salad for dessert and then there were lots of snacks. Some more of her family came over and Len, I and her gorgeous Greek cousin Geo, who I used to have a little crush on, spent some quality time drinking champagne and chatting.

at least, 2008 ended well