We had just come in from me having picked Ray up from the train station. It was a little awkward. I didn’t know what to do. There was no dinner to serve and there were nobody else in the flat except us. I didn’t know how to entertain him. Me feeling so sky and awkward was something I really hadn’t expected and thinking about being awkward, made me feel even more awkward. “Sit down and chill,” I said turned on the radio. Before I sat down on the sofa. He hovered for a while, seeming a little unsure of what to do him before parking himself down next to me. “Anything to drink?” I said “No thanks, I’m cool.” The conversation was a little pressured at first. Neither of us knew what to talk about, but it didn’t take long before we got into our old natural way of talking and joking again. It felt so good to have him next to me. I hadn’t seen him for a couple of weeks, but we had had some long conversations and there had been a lot of texting, so we had kept in touch. I wanted him again. Wanted him badly, but I had decided not to hope for too much unless I got disappointed. He made no move towards me and so I made no move either. But I didn’t just want him for his body like the last time. I would be happy just lying next to him listening to his heartbeats and breathing.
After a while we both got up. Ray wanted me to show him where the surround sound system was plugged into the TV and he managed to plug his mp3 player to it, so that we could listen to some of his music. Some lovers rock came on and we went back to the couch. He sat down and this time he put his arm round my waste and made me sit on his lap. It felt great being near him. Like electricity running through my body. and oh no, I could feel myself getting wet just from sitting there with his arms around me and his face buried in my neck while he played with my hair. “What’s that in your hair?” he asked me. “Shampoo, hope it doesn’t smell too bad” I laughed nervously. “No,” he said smelling it again. 2I was just wondering,” he replied. I was absolutely soaking and I almost felt embarrassed by it. I didn’t say anything nor moved except from commenting on the music every now and again. “What are you thinking?” he asked. That I wanna make love to you from tonight and for the rest of eternity, I thought. “Nothing really,” I said out loud. “Just enjoying the moment.” He pulled me off his lap so my head was at his level. “What are you thinking,” I said sure he’d hear the tremble in my voice. I can’t even remember what he replied. The smell of his hair and skin and his breath on my cheek was just too much so I just concentrating on trying to keep cool while listening to the music. “Do you wanna go watch a movie?” he said after a while. “I can unfortunately not stay over as I need to be somewhere in south London by 10 tomorrow,” He refreshed my memory about a meeting he was gonna go to when he had been at mine two weeks earlier, but had ended up not going to. “I’m sorry girl, I wish I had come yesterday so I could have spent more time with you,” he said. “So what movie do you wanna watch?” I asked. “Don’t know. We could either watch a movie, or make one,” he said and followed me into my bedroom where all my audio described movies were on my laptop. Once
inside the he stood in front of me and we slowly put our arms around each other. I leaned my head against his chest and he stroke my back. “Aren’t you gonna put that computer on?” he asked. “Well I can’t as long as you’re blocking my way can I?” He did not move. Instead, he started feeling my top. “It’s nice, he said after a while.”And those trousers hug your hips well. I do wonder how easy that top comes off.” It came of easy as did the rest of my clothes and his too. He threw me on the bed and ripped my knickers, the only thing I had left on, off. He lay down beside me and we hugged before he started pulling me on top of him. “You know, after last time, I thought, after,” he stopped.” After last time, I thought, you’d almost broken in.” I knew what he meant by that. Broken into his mind, heart soul, something like that. Anyway I knew what he meant. I smiled and kissed him. But although I was wet, I was not ready. 2I need to do some work before I get my entertainment, he said as I got on my back and his fingers slid inside me. Oh my god, it felt so, so, so…. I couldn’t think. All I knew was that I was somewhere, somewhere, very very nice and that I wanted to stay there. He got on top of me and his hands no longer being inside me, made me ache for him like crazy.
The first time was hard, fast and mad. Afterwards, we laid there talking about everything and laughing a lot. I love that about him. His sense of humour is really great.
The second time, I was on top of him. It went from being fast and rough to being slow and sensual. Sometimes he would lay back and enjoy it, and sometimes, he’d help me. “You” he kept moaning. And when we finished, the craziest orgasm ever because he came out as we both came. It made us both laugh and after that we did more talking, but had periods where we were quiet, just concentrating on holding and caressing each other. “If you’d have seen the inside of my head right now, you would get confused by all these tuff that’s going on inside there and probably get shocked by some of my thoughts.” “Maybe,” I said. “As long as there are no bad thought.” I noticed he had started talking about us in we terms. For example, he told me this story about a crazy friend he had in Jamaica, who was blind and very confident. One day he’d smelled a nice perfume on the bus, turned around and said, How are you darling?” only to find out it was a man sitting there. “I’d love to travel with that guy for the sake of the entertainment,” I said. “Well, I’ll point him out when we go to Jamaica.” When WE go to Jamaica.
The third time was pure lovemaking. It was mainly slow and tender, but faster at times. We slowed down to kiss, kiss and kiss some more before going faster and then slowing down to kiss again. I swear had he asked me to marry him while it was going on, I would have said yes straight away. We both came simultaneously again and the orgasm was of the long and slow kind. Afterwards, I lay back exhausted while he got up to sit in my arm chair. Still, we never broke physical contact. All evening, we had been holding each other in one way or another. Even when we were play fighting for some of it. So he sat and held my hand while I tried to recover. “We never watched that movie,” I said. “No, but we made three, though the first one was a little short and mad,” he said. “And the second one had a crazy and funny ending he added.” But the third one, was just looong and had a very happy one,” I said. “Yeah. You’ are so sexy you know,” he said as I got up and he could hold me tight again. “You are something else my dear.
This post isn’t well written, but it was so much going on that night emotionally and I just can’t get it down in words. Let me say though, I have never experienced an evening like this and I know more and more that I want to be this man’s wifey. We want the same things. 3 kids, good careers and good friends. He’s so loving and caring and ambitious. I’m trying not to read too much into him talking about me and him in we and us terms. Maybe he doesn’t mean it? maybe he will go back to his babymama if she takes him back. I hope hot and to be honest, I don’t think so. I’d love to see what’s going through his head right now and I’d love to share with him what’s going on in mine. the full extent of my feelings.