I did it two days ago. Break up with KS. I wasn’t going to do it when I did, but it was getting so heavy on my mind I decided it was better to just get it done. He also knew there was something going on, and kept asking if there was something I wanted to talk about.
So, when we got home from work just after midnight on Wednesday, or practically it had turned into Thursday, explained to him how I felt. That the age difference was quite apparent at this time, that we were at different places in our life, that I struggled with the fact that he was clinging to his bad past, allowing it to give him a negative foundation that had influence on things he said and did. How my feelings had not disappeared but rather changed. I said to him that in order for him to be able to keep a relationship going, he needed to stop hating himself, allowing the past to be past and take the silver lining out of his experiences and use it to his advantage. I said that he needed to start loving himself before being able to truly offer someone else good quality love back.
At first he got all dramatic and talked about how he would never ever succeed in lie. How people he had dealt with in the past hated him, had no respect for him and how he didn’t see any point of living now that he was certain he had found true love in me. But after a while, he started listening to what I was saying and even said I had some quite good points that got him thinking. He also said that the way I put it through to him showed him I really did care and that I did respect him. I promised him that when I came back from Norway at the end of this month, (I’m going for 10 days on the 18th) we would have this conversation again and see what would come out of it. Without giving him false hopes, I said that he would have a much better chance of getting back with me, which is what he wants, if he let go of his past and did learn to accept himself. This is true. Who says things will work out with me and Mr A? I hope they will, but I’m not gonna rush it. The good thing about me and him is that we’ve been friends for quite some time before anything even happened. As for KS, we’re at peace and he’s coming down this evening with TG to eat my home made fajitas. I really hope to keep him one of my best friends. I feel a little sad, sorry and down for what has happened, but I think it was the right thing for now.
