I’m not gonna say much about this now, but it looks as if things might improve with me and A. We had a long chat yesterday because I had to tell him KS knows everything about me cheating on him. He came around and asked me questions about it. Well, I knew he sort of knew anyway. He hinted to me for some time that he knew I was seeing somebody. I was honest with him to make myself feel better, but also to prove to A that I am an honest person that confesses my mistakes. I spent six hours up in his flat and although he isn’t all that happy about me telling KS how long it had gone on for etc. but I told him I just couldn’t continue lying to him anymore. That after all KS is a good person who doesn’t deserve that much disrespect. He seemed to get the gist. He also told me his reasons to suspect I had cheated on him with Twin A and I am beginning to understand why he could think that. Twin A knew a lot about me that only people who are close to me do. I don’t know where he got all the info from. I suspect TG gave him some and before I found out a lot of shit about him, I talked to him as well. Not about my inner thoughts and feelings, but I thought he just was a normal guy I could be friends with like so many of my other friends. An even kissed me a few times on my face and lips. I don’t wanna keep my hopes up though. I mean, he said he was gonna go over and talk to KS about stuff today. I made it as if I was to blame for all the cheating, that I was the bad person and a said he’d go and take his part of the blame for it. I also let KS know that a thought I’d been cheating on him with Twin A and I’m not all that keen on the two guys talking today. Anyway. I did something terrible to a good guy and now I’m trying to make it right. I just pray, dear God, it won’t end up in a disaster!
