I really can’t wait to start my new job. Am positively sick of my life the way it is now. Off during the day and then working a few evenings a week. Haven’t bothered to find freelance work since I came back since I’m starting a new job anyway. Ok, so it’s not like I’m sitting at home doing nothing when I have the time off, it’s just that I get easily restless and I have to find things to fill my days with. They should ideally be different kind of things since just going to the gym every day is gonna be a bit boring although I feel my body is really toning up. I even surprised myself yesterday by swimming 1 km in half an hour, something I was able to do in my fit days, but had no idea I could still do that, so it put a smile on my face. Imagine how quickly I can swim 1 km when I get even more fit. or is it fitter?, haha, refuse to write that as that is plural for pussy in Norwegian. One pussy)en fitte, many pussies)fitter.
To fill up my day today, I decided to go to the RNIB resource centre near King’s cross station. It takes me an hour to get there, but I kind of had to go, since my Braille watch mysteriously got filled up with water and I needed a new one. Good excuse getting a nice watch too before my new job. I got a very dressy watch with a glossy black strap, and the hands and little Braille dots looking like sparkly diamonds. The glass lid is so smooth, shiny and new and it really doesn’t look like a Braille watch at all. Then, I did some grocery shopping I should have done ages ago before going back home. The bus driver on my regular bus was extremely annoying. The bus station I get on the bus as is very big and someone who worked for London busses was there to inform me when my bus came along. “Does she know where she’s getting off?” the driver asked the bus person as I got on. I wanted to say, “No, he doesn’t, but I do,” but just said very politely I was getting off at the last stop, as if that was any of his business. Then, when we got to the last stop, I gathered my shopping bags to go out of the bus and then the guy had a nerve to ask the old woman next to me if she could “tell that young lady we’re there.” I know,” I said and very crossly apologized for taking so long with my shopping, which I hadn’t done at all, I just wanted to prove my point. I came home feeling slightly moody.
I do wonder what’s happening to me. As a kid and teenager, nothing shocked me, I was never emotional and I practically laughed when Leonardo Di caprio died in Titanic because everyone else around me was crying in unison. Now though, just tiny little things get me emotional. Ok, I don’t think Titanic ever would make me cry, but it takes much les for me to feel emotional and go and cry somewhere. I hate people seeing me cry… As a teenager, I once went a year without crying and I still want to appear tough to people, so I hide. And I get angry when people see me cry which cause me to cry even more. I don’t think I am the only one who feels that way. A few of my girlfriends say that they’ve become lots more emotional now they’re older. Perhaps it’s just a sign that I’m really becoming a grown-up woman? It also frustrates me that I haven’t had the chance yet to cook TJ a meal. I somehow feel I haven’t proven to a man that I am a good woman before I’ve made him dinner. I know this is total rubbish. But then I have my old-fashioned ways.
Tags: Braille, Braille watch, Cooking, Crying, Emotions, PTitanic Leonardo Di Caprio, Work
